Return to Racing Season- Perspective Reminder

Over the weekend, I ran my first race since April 2016. While I had not planned on blogging about my race, seeing all the pictures I wanted to add to a collage picture to tweet, I thought I should share the pictures along with some memorable moments and reminders.

Before, I begin my story, I must tell you were my 5k took place… I bet you’re on pins and needles with anticipation to find out, huh? You’ll never guess… Quick, take a second or 60 to think about it. Ok, time’s up! It was… at… are you sure you’re ready?!

Hint. One of my favorite locations in the world!

If you guessed Dodger Stadium, Ding! Ding! Ding! You. Are. Co-rr-ect. I LOVE the Dodgers and Dodger Stadium! I bet you didn’t know that. Ha. If you know me or follow me on Twitter, you might say I’m obsessed and you might be a little right about that, but not unstable obsessed, just slightly koo-koo. I try not to miss any games and when I must, I have Backstage Dodgers (son and I watch together to see all the fun that happens before, during, and after the game), and now, Twitter, to keep me posted. Please, don’t think I spend the entire time in front of the screen. Aside from being a Dodger fan, runner, and writer,  I’m,mostly, a mom, wife, and trying to finish a book, so I can’t sit and watch most games in their entirety, but on game days and if life permits, we do enjoy watching the game on TV or Dodger Stadium.

My husband and son are pretty lucky in that department because I don’t mind sitting through nine or more innings of baseball. In fact, if we are watching the game at Dodger Stadium, extra innings makes me giddy. More time to take in the beauty of the environment and everything that comes with experiencing a game at Dodger Stadium. Even if you’re not a baseball fan, watching a game inside that magical place, is something everyone must experience. The food, alone, will not disappoint.

Now, you know why I was excited about my 5K. Not only was I running a race after a six month racing hiatus, but most importantly, it was at Dodger Stadium. Two of my favorites-running and Dodgers.

Dodgers Foundation

Like most runners, I choose races based on several factors. For me, the primary are location and charity. The Dodgers Foundation is a phenomenal charity providing three pillars of support, experiences, and opportunities for underprivileged youth in Los Angeles: sports + recreation, education + literacy, and health + wellness.

I’m a huge believer in mind and body connection, so anytime I can contribute in helping children develop a positive and healthy mental, emotional, physical, and social adulthood, I must play a role-small or large. 

Why did I decide to blog about this race?

Initially, for the pictures. But, I, also, had a few experiences, I felt were worth sharing about running and parenting. If you follow me on Twitter or read my blog, you know I recently moved away from my mom and siblings. As much as I enjoy my new home and community, life is not perfect, there are downsides to everything. Unfortunately, the move limits the time I spend with them. When we lived a couple of miles apart, I was able to walk or hike with them, at least, a couple times per week. Although it was only an hour or two, I loved that time with them. I’ve tried to get them to run races with me, but I haven’t succeeded, yet. However, both are quite speedy. My brother’s fastest mile is a little over 6 minutes and my sister usually placed when she ran 5 and 10k’s, so I know I’ll eventually succeed in getting them back into their running shoes.

My 5K Race-My Sister’s Return to Racing?

As my sister was leaving my home on Saturday afternoon, she asked what time I would be leaving my race. My nephew and son were having a sleep over at my house and were both attending the race, so it made sense to drive my nephew home after the race since my sister’s home is closer to the race location than mine.

If you’re a runner and parent or familiar with children, I’m sure you’re wondering why I would host a sleep over the night before a race. Right?

Easy. My sister and I can’t say no to each other when we need help. She knew I had a race the next day, but she was in a pickle and my nephew’s first choice is always my home. Since I think of him as a son, I would want the same comforts for him that my son receives. I can’t blame him for feeling comfortable and at home with us. A goofy, dorky aunt that adores him and loves to cook?! I would have loved me at his age, too. I’m like Mary Poppins minus Julie Andrews’ voice in the film adaptation. Plus, twelve-year-olds that get along make my life easier. Anytime, my son has a sleep over with him, I know I’ll be getting a lot of extra writing time. 

Back to the reasoning for blogging about this race…

With an uncertain tone and Lucille Ball style curled up lip, my response to my sister’s question was “…, u-n-less…, if, I p-lace? Then, I would need to wait until…” She, quickly, interrupted, “What do you mean, if?! Of course, you are going to place! You need to stop pacing yourself and just go all out! It’s only a 5K, you run a lot more than 3.1 miles.” My husband agreed with her. They are right. I usually under pace myself and aside from my April 2016 5K, when I wanted to make it to the finish line as soon as nausea kicked in, I usually end races not feeling like I gave it my all. But, I’m ok with that because like a lovely, smart, and talented runner friend reminded me this week, my primary reason for running is the “joy of running”.

Here is the part were the stomach churning began…

As she walked out, onto the porch, she turned back and said, “Ok, here’s the deal.” Oh… no…, I cringed. Whenever she starts sentences like that, I know I’m not going to like what comes next. “If you place in your age group, I will start running, again.” Oh, shoot! I didn’t say those words, but my expression spoke them because she responded, “…you can totally place. You’re fast! Come on, do it! Do it for me!” My stomach began to feel queasy and the excitement I had been feeling, about my 5k, briefly turned into anxiety. Ok, not briefly, I vacillated between excited and nervous until the actual start of the race. But, I agreed. “Ok. You said it, if I place, you are running, again.” With a nauseous expression, I continued, “Alright… There better be some slow thirty somethings, tomorrow.” She laughed, and I did, too, but my laugh was more of the nervous type. 

She and my husband have all the confidence in the world that I can accomplish and achieve anything I set out to do, so when I saw their expressions and heard their words showing nothing but confidence in me, I knew I couldn’t let myself down. I know no matter the outcome, they will never feel let down, it’s me I didn’t want to let down.

My Support Group for the Morning

My son and nephew were a dream. They cut their usual sleepover bedtime short to support me in the morning. If you are familiar with twelve-year-olds, you know that going to bed earlier than midnight on a sleepover night, is not easy, but they agreed. You see why I adore these boys?

Fortunately, the 5k race was beginning at 9am. However, since I was also picking up my bib, we needed to leave earlier. When my alarm went off, it was still dark and seeing their adorable faces in deep sleep made me reconsider having them join me. My husband volunteered to stay home with them and suggested I give them the option to sleep in. Ha. As much as he loves me, I understanding his quick suggestion. Only runners are willing to get up before sunrise with a big grin at the anticipation of morning racing. 

I thought they would choose to sleep in, but they didn’t?! I don’t know if it was supporting me, seeing if I would place, or the plethora of Pokémon they imagined catching at Dodger Stadium that motivated them to get up before sunrise, or all, but, they were ready before me. “Sorry, honey.”

Finally, we see the signs that make me feel like a child seeing Disneyland signs.

We left sunny skies and arrived to an overcast city, but Dodger Stadium brightens my day no matter the weather or cloud coverage. Big sigh. …Dodger Stadium… Another, big sigh. Taking it all in. The feeling of being at that location never gets old.

To the Race and… Beyond…!

Bib pick-up was quick and easy. After pinning my bib, we joined the 10K runners’ cool-down walk inside the stadium before my race. Most runners choose the stadium walk as a cool-down (intended purpose), but I used it as a warm-up.

Here are some of the pictures snapped by my son on our pre-run stroll. I’ll post more towards the end of this post. I had promised pictures taken by my husband and son, but I was not given the green light by my son and nephew to post their image and those pictures included them, so… I’ll share the pictures my husband took of me running when we get to that section. Lucky you! (sarcastic tone).

Opening race festivities were taking place when I arrived at the starting area. There were at least 15 minutes until start time and 10k runners were still taking pictures with family and friends, so I stood around waiting and debating whether to move up closer to the front or stay somewhere between the middle and front, my comfort zone.

I’ll spare you details of my internal dialogue. After chatting with myself, I sent my husband a message letting him know I had moved up to the front, next to the DJ/MC area since he and my lovely 12 yr. olds were planning to watch me from a different location. I really want my sister to return to the running world, so I decided I was going all out and placing.

… and, they’re off…

I was doing awesome until about mile 2. Darn. You. Hills. I do not like you! In fact, I hate you! I don’t hate a lot, but I’m, finally,  ok with revealing my disdain towards hills. Way to go, hills. Pat yourself on the back. You made it to: Karina’s Very Short List of Things I Hate. My relationship with them is incredibly high maintenance. One week, in this case, more than two, without hill training and I felt like I had never met them before. For me, hills are like the family member you wish wasn’t related to you, but in order to keep civil, you tolerate.

Darn you, hills! I don’t know if it was the lingering cold/stuffy nose that made me imagine more hills added to the course, or if in fact, there were hills added, but that morning, was the first time I wanted to quit a race. Why do I do this to myself? 

This feeling and thought was foreign to me. Prior to this race, I never felt anything, but excitement during a race, regardless of distance. But, last Sunday, all I wanted to do was quit. Of course, mom brain kicked in and I couldn’t. I couldn’t and wouldn’t quit. Especially, when three of my favorite people in the world were up before sunrise to support me. Aurggg. I felt terrible-physically and mentally.

My mental strength is usually high, but that morning, I wanted to give myself a free pass and be ok with quitting in front of my son and nephew. The thought lasted a nanosecond because there was no way I was going to quit. While neither describe themselves as runners, both participate in competitive sports. Both are talented in their respective sports, but, like all athletes, they’ve had moments when quitting would have been the easy choice, but didn’t. They didn’t because their parents (I’m one of them) have taught them to never give up. It’s ok to have rough days on the field, court, or pool, but quitting is not an option. Unless, of course, they are ill or injured, but that’s a given.

Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. Darn you nose. Darn you cold. Aurgghh. I did not want to be on that course. In case you forgot, I was at my Disneyland and I was feeling this way?!

Runners Are, Well, Simply, Awesome People- Super Heroes in Disguise

If you are not a runner or are a runner, but don’t have a runner friend, you really need to befriend one. Runners are top notch human beings. Not all, there are unkind people in all groups, but the majority are my-kind-of-people. Whether or not, we are friends, runners are a supportive bunch. This was apparent just when I needed the support.

Remember, how I wanted to stop, but talked myself out of it? Well, soon after, I saw a little boy and girl running near me. I had seen them early in the race, but I was in my head planning an escape, so they became invisible during my internal turmoil. However, like superheroes, they appeared out of nowhere when I stopped mid-race. I didn’t come to a complete stop, but I stopped to walk. Shudder. Yes, I did! Walking and running during a race is completely acceptable. Hello, Galloway Method, but I was not planning on a run/walk race and I have not stopped to walk in a 5k race, so stopping was a bid deal for me.

Seeing the little boy (slightly younger than my son) and girl (about 10) who were related in some way (similar look and interacted like siblings/cousins) run near me, huffing and puffing, but not stopping, inspired me to overcome my physical exhaustion. After seeing them, I picked up my feet from walk to run. Not because I felt children were showing me up. Not at all. In fact, I believe children are phenomenal observers and teachers. In my past experiences working with children in a professional setting and with my son, nieces and nephews, I value their thoughts, feelings, and actions with equal weight as adults. In many instances, their thoughts, feelings and actions carry more weight because of their honestly. Plus, valuing their thoughts, feelings and actions enhances their thinking and confidence.

But, I was not feeling it. I was not me at all that morning. As soon as they stopped to walk, upon approaching a hill, I felt the exhaustion once again, and stopped two more times, very brief stops, but, I stopped. That was th-r-ee stops. Three. During a 5k. A race I have run several times without stopping and I stopped three times?!

Introducing… Superhero-Runner #2… Tan, Tan, Tan, Tan…

Apparently, superheros were out in full force that morning. An awesome runner behind me wasn’t going to let one of her own go down without a battle. I had already resumed running when this lovely woman ran next to me and said, “you’re doing great… keep it up… I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to huff in your face, but I just wanted to tell you that you’re doing great.” Maybe she had seen me struggle. Maybe she had been there before. Maybe she was just another supportive runner. Maybe she was, simply, a lovely person or a combination of all, but I’m glad she normalized my experience. 

We had a mini exchange as we ran towards the finish in which we both expressed not feeling it that morning. “I ran 11 miles, yesterday,” she continued. My relaxed laugh returned and I replied, “Yes, I know what you mean. I can run ten miles and be ok, but right now, I feel like this race is never going to end.” We laughed and finished. She finished ahead of me with her male friend. Meanwhile, I was pressing on my pedal with very little fuel left in me until I heard my husband’s voice. I had about 100 feet to the finish when I heard him cheer me on. Upon hearing his voice, like the army men from Toy Story, I commanded my legs, let’s move, let’s move, let’s move.

Do you think I placed?

Of course not! But, I was proud of myself. I could have easily quit and justified it because I had been sick and my cold/cough is the annoying, lingering type that returns at the most inopportune times, weeks after the initial start. However, my primary and most important role in life is mother. 

As I’ve mentioned before, when I made the decision to be a mother, I made the decision to commit to it full-time and whole heartedly. Modeling positive thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are at the core of my parenting. Reminding myself of this while on the course, allowed my mind to push when my body wanted to quit. No matter how old my son is, he is always watching and listening, so my words must always match my behavior if he is to believe and trust in my guidance.

Post Finish Line

I know this is a pretty long post, but I think this part is important and worth it.

Some races have post-race goodies within the expo area, some don’t. Goody stops are exciting to most runners. What runner doesn’t like free samples of runner fuel and hydration? It’s like trick-or-treating for runners. Since many of the people in attendance were supporters, the goodies booths were placed within a few feet of the finish line, bordered by metal barriers which ensured only runners stopped at the booths. I didn’t see them because I squeezed through the closest barrier after the finish line to meet my cheering squad.

I’ll admit, while I was mostly proud of myself for all that happened in my mind and body in under 30 minutes, I was still a smidgen disappointed about not placing in the top three in my category (30-39 females). Definitely, not because I had the grand desire to hear my name called in front of thousands of people or, at that point, even, because I knew my sister wasn’t going to be committed to return to running. However, I was bummed because my son and nephew were very excited and confident that I could place among some of the fastest women in my age group. Including, fresh 30’s, who could have been 29 year-olds days before the race. Ha!

As I spotted my fans, with my medal in hand, to show it to them, I felt a tiny bit choked up because while I was worried about disappointing them, the smiles on their mouths and eyes couldn’t be more proud. Developing tears clouded my vision as I walked towards them, but they didn’t see it- I was wearing my shades and giant smile. My son greeted me in the special way he greets me every time he witnesses me crossing a finish line. He walks next to me with added confidence to his already confident walk and smile. Oh, the smile… The smile that brightens every space he enters.

Yes, they were proud, but they are still twelve-year-olds with an interest in statistics, so they asked to look at the results bulletin. My husband had given them an estimated finish time, but they wanted to see the “official” time. Ok, so, get this, not only were they proud of me before the stats, they were impressed with my finish?! What?! Apparently, at the time of the posting, I was 7^th in my age group. It was lovely to see them recapping my race and time in the same manner I do about their performance on the baseball field, basketball court, or pool. All positive. 

“Did you see how many people were here and you finished in that place!?” He said more, but I don’t recall verbatim, so I can’t quote. (nephew)

“Mom, and you haven’t really been running in like, what, three weeks.” (It was 2, but it seemed like 3 to him since I haven’t been racking up the miles like I should for my half later this month) “I think if you weren’t sick, you would have easily placed, Mom”. “Mom, you still finished way ahead of most people.” (son)

At the time of posting, I was 7^th, but, the official, final, placing was 13^th in my age group. A 27:01 finish with three stops is pretty darn good. At least for me it is and as long as I’m happy, that’s all that matters, right? But, what I’m most happy about is knowing that all my efforts in parenting in a positive style are well worth it.

After a donut and coffee stop at our favorite donut shop in our old neighborhood, it was my turn to support my son on the baseball field. Running at Dodger Stadium, rooting for my son and his team on the baseball field, and Vince Scully’s final broadcast-a memorable day in my book…

Have you ever experienced the desire to quit a race? If so, did you?

*****Wait. I have more. I’m adding extra footage like the Marvel movies… Ha. Ha. Ha.

As promised, here are the pictures my husband snapped. I zoomed past him, so this is what he snapped at the start… He took video, but he's speaking in it and doesn't want me to share. I don't know why all he males I love dislike pictures and videos? They are all lovely and should share with the world.

 

Apparently, I have subconscious aspirations to be a belly dancer. That belt was adjusted numerous times and placed under my shirt to avoid playing slip and slide, again. It was on tight. I felt a mini-muffin develop. There was no reason it should move. However, look at my belly peeking seconds from the start. 

Maybe, I need to place the bib on my shorts? Maybe, an armband? Do you wear running belts or armbands on race day? Do you experience continual gear issues on race day?