"Why Can’t We Fully Enjoy Our Run? It's Our Me-Only-Time."

Initially, I meant to simply tweet about one of the annoyances runners, primarily, female runners are forced to endure. However, as I tried to tweet within the limited characters, I quickly realized that a blog post would be a better platform for this annoying encounter. The annoying encounter I speak of occurred on my way back home after having a lovely, endorphin filled run.

As I’ve mentioned in previous tweets and blog posts, I recently moved into a new city. A city that is mostly runner/cyclist/walker friendly. I couldn’t believe the first time I crossed a main street and was given the right of way, along with a wave and believe it or not, a, wait for it… smile. What?! Uh-huh, you read correctly- a s-m-ile. Am I in Mayberry or an episode of Leave It to Beaver? I'm expecting to hear, "Augh, gee Wally, ..."Am I running in my sleep? I must, because, I was not at all accustomed to such polite and kind behavior from drivers in my previous neighborhood. Fortunately, for me, and all the many runners I have seen while running, walking and exploring my new city, I was NOT dreaming or running in my sleep. Indeed, I’m in runner/cyclist mecca. Running and cycling paths galore?! What?! I can totally get used to this world.

When deciding on neighborhood, we initially focused on schools, only. Our reasoning for moving were the schools, after all, great schools were way up high on our list of importance. Thankfully, we were outbid on several of the homes in our first neighborhood choice because that neighborhood did not have the glorious running paths that this neighborhood possesses. After losing out on several homes, we then looked in our new neighborhood. This was the home and neighborhood that had been waiting for us and it is still the same school district. Win-win, right? I agree. It met all our needs and much, much more than we imagined. 

But, there is no such thing as perfection. I quickly learned this while on my run…

What happened?!

Well, what else? What could possibly spoil a female runner’s run? If you guessed rude and disrespectful commentary, you are correct, my friend. Yep. My blissful run was interrupted by a disrespectful driver thinking in his delusional mind that I would enjoy listening to his crude commentary on his observation of my appearance. Unfortunately, this is a problem female runners have endured whether they are pounding the trails and pavement or walking around in their everyday lives.

It's saddening and discouraging that, today, August 12, 2016, we are still forced to endure such degrading, disrespectful, crude commentary and behavior. Why do I say forced to endure? I’m 100% sure that there is no woman in this world that appreciates disrespect, especially, from a self-hating and unkind male stranger. However, unless, we are willing to risk further negative interaction, we endure uncomfortable feelings whether we respond or ignore. In my younger years, I definitely responded with strong commentary hoping to evoke uncomfortable feelings in the men who hate and disrespect themselves so much that they feel a need to make me and other women get a slice of their misery. I continue to reference males because the crude and disrespectful commentary towards me has only been inflicted by men.

While I still want to respond, I don’t. Why? Because, I simply want to get away from that space as quickly as possible. Typically, when encountered with conflict while out and about, my response is usually, "I'm sorry you are so unhappy." However, when the negative interactions occur between men while on a run, not responding seems to be the safest and best approach.

Of course, this never happens when I’m with my husband, but I can’t have him at my side at all times and he’s not a runner. Hire a bodyguard? Ha! That is totally something I would do if I had the extra cash. Ha! Ha! Ha! I’m not joking. Sometimes, I do wish I could hire my brother to run with me. The perfect running partner-super fast and hilarious! Pretty ridiculous, right!? I agree. But, sometimes, it seems that’s the only way, women can fully enjoy all their runs on streets. While I enjoy running on hiking trails, my love for running belongs to the streets. 

As a writer, running on streets provides inspiration-along with human/non-human interactions, the sight, smells, feelings, and taste of the city are everywhere. Additionally, the positive interactions I have experienced and witnessed while running the streets far outweigh the negative. I have stopped to write down ideas several times since I started writing the first book I plan to publish because thoughts overflow. It's probably not ideal for my pacing and time, but waiting until I return home is not an option. Thoughts and ideas loose rawness and vibrancy if I wait too long. As a result, I have added "quick phone writer" to my basket of skills. Ha! I refuse to stop running the streets  because men who hate themselves feel a need to share their disdain and misery for themselves and life with me and other female runners. Fortunately, my new neighborhood’s runner-friendly-running-paths limit the time I spend on main streets.

Until I come up with a better alternative, I will continue to run with my pepper spray, phone, and vigilance because I refuse to give these men the power to ruin my love of street running. I know that 98% of my running experiences and interactions with males on the streets are positive, so I refuse to allow the other 2% to take away my love of running in the beauty of the California sunshine. Additionally, any commentary or response I give them would only inflate their need to hate because, after all, a major reasoning for their commentary stems from a strong need for attention (positive or negative), self-hate, and general unhappiness. Sadly, in addition to desperately craving love and attention, what they need is education and therapy. Perhaps, if they ran, the endorphin release and mental clarity would be a great start to changing their mindset and outlook on life?

Have you experienced uncomfortable interactions while on runs? If so, how did you handle it/them? Have you ever responded to unwelcome male commentary? If so, what was the outcome? Female runners, how do you handle unwelcome commentary/interactions with males on your runs? Male runners, have you ever experienced the same behaviors/commentary from women or other males? If so, how did you handle it/them?