Maybe
it’s my thinking or maybe I’m onto something, or maybe it’s something
that other people also think and feel, but somehow, I feel that I’m unique. Ha! Let me
think the latter. Who doesn’t like to feel unique, right?!
What am I feeling unique about?
The
fact that when needing guidance or an answer, somehow I choose to watch a
movie, read a book, and since joining Twitter in January of this year, articles
or tweets cross my feed when I need them most. On Friday night, I, finally, watched, Joy, the movie I rented on Monday. Between all the activities and
moving the last few days, I was exhausted by 8 p.m. most days and fell asleep before I had an opportunity to start the movie. Typically, I would have returned
the movie without viewing it by the second day, but I had been wanting to watch
Joy since it was released in theaters
(last winter) and I had already gone several days of tacking on the rental fee,
so now, I felt like I might as well keep raising my tab until I got around to
watching it.
Fortunately,
my lovely husband, who wasn’t so hot on the idea of watching a Jennifer
Lawrence drama, initially, suggested we watch the movie together. See, why I
love the man. Not only is he hilarious, brilliant, and a fantastic father, in
addition, he is always making sacrifices for my joy. Ha! Honestly, no pun intended, but it is pretty funny, no?!
So, I agreed to watch it together. I had forgotten that Robert De Niro was cast
in the film, so I knew Mr. De Niro would keep him interested for longer than a
few minutes, we are both fans of his acting. I don’t know why some people
dislike Jennifer Lawrence’s acting, I think she’s great!
Initially,
I planned to watch the movie with my sister in theaters, but if you are a
mother/parent/caretaker/teacher and/or work with children in any capacity, you
know that it gets tough to make it to a movie with significant others or
friends during the holiday season. In addition, I was training for
my-first-ever-marathon, and if you’ve trained for one of those, you know that
lessens any free time. So, finally, Monday,
while grocery shopping, I decided I was going to treat myself to a solo movie
night with ice cream, of course! You know, from my intro why that didn’t
happen. Oh my! I-am-my-mother! She does this, she repeats herself, often in
conversation, and I just did the same. Oh-no!!!
This movie was
waiting to be viewed by me, now,
today, Friday, July 27, 2016.
As
I mentioned at the intro of my post, I feel that books, movies, and as recent
as January 2016, articles and tweets on Twitter seem to reach me when I need
them most. I was hesitant to join social media, but I’m happy that I made the decision
to join six months ago because I have “met” many, many wonderful people who inspire
me to continue pushing myself with my passions, primarily, writing and running.
Thank you, thank you, thank you all
you lovely people. Keep posting inspiring tweets!
Please, lady, get to the point of this post, will ya!
As
I began to watch Joy, I knew this was
one of those movies. The ones that dig deep. Without giving away the message of
the movie or the plot, I must say that Ms. Joy inspired me. She reminded me
that I had set goals and sitting around waiting for the right moment to get back
to them was not going to work. I needed to get back to work, even if I had
many, many other obstacles and factors needing attention. I had to make room
and time for my goals, too.
Bloggers, keep writing, you never know who and when you are inspiring…
Along
with the movie, I had been wanting to read posts from some of my favorite
bloggers, but like I already mentioned, busy week, meant little time to read
blogs. Well, I’m glad that I made the time to read the most recent post by Paria
Hassouri from Mom On the Run Sanity(
momontherunsanity.com)
because her message was the icing on the cake. I needed to read her post at
that particular moment because I was neglecting my running and writing in order
to ensure that my son transitioned well to our move. I realized that giving
myself a few hours to run and write during the transition was good for our
entire family, so I resumed running on Saturday morning, bright and early. It
felt euphoric! Both my husband and son had been encouraging me to continue running,
but somehow, like Paria’s post, and I’m sure so many other parents, I felt
guilt about taking time for my writing and running during our move.
While
I wanted to run as my training plan indicated, I, initially, paused because I
hurt my leg while on a trail run. The leg was OK after two days, but, then, I
made excuses (poor air quality, need to pack, need to paint, need to ….). I was
making excuses because I felt guilt about taking time to run instead of doing everything on my to-do-list. I know
better. I know that running is extremely important to mind and body health.
However, this is an example of how much our culture has ingrained guilt into
motherhood. Paria is right, not every meal has to be gourmet. Sometimes, PB
& J is great if it means fitting in a run or whatever activity brings
parents joy and stress relief. My husband has been telling me for years, “… not
every meal has to be gourmet…” Like Paria, he is, of course, correct, but there
is more meaning to my reasoning for wanting “the perfect meal” at every meal. I
will have to share that in a different post.
Working
from home is definitely the best match for my parenting style, however, along
with positives, there is a downside, especially during summer vacation. I often
leave my writing for late, late or early, early. With either, I’m either too
tired to wake up early and run and if I write early, then, I don’t have time to
run before the LA heat/crazy traffic times that have caused me to have several
close calls from drivers who value their time more than runner/pedestrian safety.
One, in particular, was within inches of hitting me which took away from my experience
for a few weeks. I experienced a bit of anxiety anytime I went near the location
of that close encounter. But, I forced myself to continue running and little by
little I was less anxious. Fortunately, I no longer have to run past that
intersection or see that driver. A driver who instead of stopping to see if I
was OK, yelled at me and sped off soon after yelling at me.
I’m
now living in a community and neighborhood where I no longer need to worry
about traffic and “reckless drivers” placing their time as more important than
safety. Now, that we are officially, moved in, I can continue putting the
oxygen mask on first. I’m beyond elated to report that with planning and dedication,
so far, so good! The transition has been as lovely as my new running paths.
My son
l-o-v-es our new home and
neighborhood!
His only concern is being “the new kid
“at a new school. A very normal feeling. Starting a new grade or school evokes
anxiety in most children. In fact, every stage of development (middle school,
high school, college, marriage, children, divorce, death, etc., etc.) brings on
changes and new beginnings that evoke anxiety. However, after the anxiety
subsides, there is relief and growth.
But, I’m not worried because he has excellent
social skills and is a social butterfly, so, I know he will make friends
quickly. Plus, we committed to having him remain in contact with his old
school/neighborhood friends.
I
c-a-n-not believe how quickly summer
has flown by this year… My son will be starting 6th grade in less
than two weeks?!?! While I love,
love, love spending summer going on fun outings with him and family, his return
to school, also signals, a return to my normal writing and running hours. I
have several races planned in fall, but as soon as the school year begins, I
know I will quickly catch up to my writing and running goals without guilt.
Have you ever felt guilt about the time running takes up in your life? If so,
how did you overcome guilt?